7th
November, 2003 - Kick her teeth out!
It's happened to everyone.
You grow up listening to some tune on the radio. One day you're
belting it out loud (temporarily forgetting you're not alone), and
the other person (or even more mortifying: "personS")
starts laughing for no reason. Next thing you know, they're bent
over, pointing at you, shaking with amusement, tears streaming down
their face.
OK. WHAT just happened? You got caught singing the wrong words.
The first time it happened to me, I was seven. We had music class
once a week and at the end, someone could suggest a song and the
whole class would (attempt to) sing it. That particular week, no
one volunteered. Three guesses as to who got picked. For those of
you who knew me back then, you'll remember a very quiet, reserved,
polite little girl - soft-spoken, delicate, mild-mannered (yeah,
what happened??!). My suggestion was for everyone to sing "Kick
her teeth out".
"Excuse me???!!"
Our teacher had probably thought I was the safest bet in class and
she looked like I'd just knocked HER teeth out. The kids were roaring.
What I would have given for Harry Potter's Invisible Cloak at that
moment.
"Well, why don't you sing that song for us, young
lady. Right at the front. Come on up." Miss R's hands were
folded as she waited for me to step up.
I was being punished. I knew it, but I couldn't understand why.
Everyone loved that song. My parents played it, the kids in school
knew it, it was on the radio everyday. I cleared my throat.
"Kick her teeth out, tell me what's wrong...." I started,
my voice quivering, palms sweaty, ready to break down and cry.
"Wait." Miss R had her mouth covered. I wasn't sure, but
I could have sworn she was trying not to laugh. "Uh...I think
what you mean is , "CHIQUITITA, tell me what's wrong."
"Huh?"
"It's "chiquitita", not "kick her teeth out".
Well. That had the kids in the class hollering. Miss T from the
next class came in to see what the commotion was about.
I sat down as the rest of the class sang "Chiquitita"
in perfect harmony while I squirmed in my chair and waited for the
bell to ring.
Other embarassing gaffes have included:
Song: Every Time You Go Away
Artist: Paul Young
Actual Lyric: Everytime you go away, you take a piece of me with
you
Misheard Lyric: Everytime you go away, you take a piece of meat
with you
Song: La Isla Bonita
Artist: Madonna
Actual Lyric: Last night I dreamt of San Pedro. Tropical island
breeze...
Misheard Lyric: Last night I dreamt of some bagels. Top it all with
highland cheese
Song: Part-time Lover
Artist: Stevie Wonder
Actual lyric: "You and me, my part-time lover."
Misheard Lyric: "You and me, my apartheid lover."
Song: One Sweet Day
Artist: Mariah Carey/Boys To Men
Actual Lyric: One sweet day.....
Misheard Lyric: Once we're dead.....
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