February
14th, 2007 - A Guide for Men
FINE
This is the word women use to end an argument when they feel they
are right and you need to shut up.
FIVE
MINUTES
This means half an hour.
It is equivalent to the five minutes that your football game is
going to last before
you take out the trash, so it's an even trade.
NOTHING
This means "something", and you should be on your toes.
"Nothing" is usually used to describe the feeling a
woman has of wanting to turn
you backwards, forwards, inside out and upside down......and not
in a good way.
'Nothing" usually signifies an argument that will last "Five
Minutes" and end with 'Fine'
GO
AHEAD (With Raised Eyebrows)
This is a dare.
One that will result in a woman getting upset over "Nothing".
GO
AHEAD (Normal Eyebrows)
This means "I give up" or "do what you want because
I don't care."
At some point in the near future, you are going to be in some
mighty big trouble.
Good luck.
LOUD
SIGH
This is not actually a word, but a non-verbal statement often
misunderstood by men.
A "Loud Sigh" means she thinks you are an idiot and
is wondering why she is wasting
her time standing there arguing with you .
SOFT
SIGH
Again, not a word, but a non-verbal statement.
"Soft Sighs" mean that she is content.
Your best bet is to not move or breathe, and she will stay content.
PLEASE
DO
This is not a statement, it is an offer.
A woman is giving you the chance to come up with whatever excuse
or reason
you have for doing whatever it is that you have done.
You have a fair chance with the truth, so be careful and you shouldn't
get a "Loud Sigh"
THANKS
A woman is thanking you.
Do not faint. Just say you're welcome.
THANKS
A LOT
This is much different from "Thanks."
A woman will say, "Thanks A Lot" when she is really
ticked off at you.
It signifies that you have offended her in some callous way,
and will be followed by the "Loud Sigh." Be careful
not to ask what is wrong after
the "Loud Sigh," unless you're prepared for the "Nothing."
Happy
Valentine's Day!
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